Going back to my childhood memory or even the stories about how our parents used to grow up I would find that there are many differences in the way or value system that my children are being brought up with or what kind of value system I had as a child.
With time the rigidity, the application of punishment, establishment of boundaries in the child-rearing process are gradually being watered down which has its merits and demerits. As the child psychology awareness grows coupled with the change in perception regarding the parenting styles more focus is put on the holistic growth of our children. Today we are very free in our communication with children. We attempt to respect their opinion in encouraging them to be independent and have the ability of decision making.
During the process the traditional values such as the respect of elders, moral framework, being connected to the people surrounding, importance of inner qualities, ability to be happy at the little ordinary things are dissolving away. The children of today are almost always too egocentric and would only want things her way without being ready to have any deviation to what they imagined.
Nevertheless, this is not caused by change in parenting style only. Kids in the modern times spend more time before Tv, computerized appliances, video games, and other kinds of toys and games which are very accessible to the kids compared to human beings surrounding them. They are not the ones who should be blamed of this. We become overprotective at times and would like the kids to keep in instead of going outside to play with other kids who are staying around. We cannot sometimes find time enough to engage them in a way that is needed. Consequently, they have screens and toys as the sole entertainment and companions. They are introduced to broad range of contents that may at times be without censorship of their age. It is now hard to come by a balanced attitude of kids. Some are too shy to open up. There are also those who are too vocal and fail to know when enough is enough. They do not appreciate anything long because they are given things in plenty even before they request it. Our expectations of the discipline, behaviour, attitude that we want our children to have is not perceived.
Being a parent, each one of us wants our children to be RESPONSIBLE, HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL.
When going through this many of us usually lose our temper and irritated and end up being scolding and punishing the kid when he is not doing things the way we want. Rather than issuing a positive guidance we unknowingly put them under stress and so they would either cease to communicate with us and would start maintaining a distance or even, some of them would start back answering. None of these are desired.
To that we must know child psychology in the correct manner.We must be able to reach our child through the assistance of positive emotions. We must put on positive emotion with each incident whether we are studying, communicating with our friends and relatives and any other activity that we would want our children to join daily experience of our children.They must be having fun, enjoyment, emotional security that is not of an outside origin.
- Everyday do an activity that your child enjoys most doing with you
- Highlight whenever the child is correct or doing something positive
- Involve them in activities that develops their competency and skills
- Nurture the natural talent in them and try to understand what they are passionate about.
Set an example of full fledged caring and sharing with them or with any other family member.
Developing positive emotion between children and parents and establishing connection with their heart is the most effective way of disciplining them. However, balance between love and discipline is also important.
Being parent is the greatest gift of God in anyone’s life. So enjoy every moment of this priceless opportunity in bringing them up into honest, disciplined, responsible, successful and happy individuals.
